Tag Archives: about

#DearMe

#DearMe at 10: You’ve always been faster, stronger, smarter than the boys at school. When the hormones start to kick in, the boy you like will like the girls that he can catch up to so he can kiss them. Don’t stop being better. Run hard, stay strong, and keep outpacing the boys in class. Because you’re ten and he’s just a boy and that strength is going to serve you well later in life. It will get you to your dreams and you’ll be really happy.

#DearMe at 12: Junior high is going to be brutal. You’ll get braces, and boobs, and so will all the other girls. Don’t stress about how you look, it’s a transition period. You’ll grow into yourself and the right people will dig that. Your friends are going to change a lot, and while that feels really scary and sad – it’s a good thing. You’ll find new friends, friends that know what you’re going through because they are too. Also, that depression you’re starting to battle now will hang over your head for a long time. But you learn how to manage it and keep going. Seriously, you are amazing.

#DearMe at 15: By now, you’re learning that people can be really mean. And dishonest. You’ll probably get a lot of advice on being kind to them anyway, to assume they are fighting their own battles. But some people just don’t try very hard to be nice to others, and it isn’t your job to take their bullshit. So, stick up for yourself. Let go of friendships with people that just bring you down.

Also, you’re in love. Enjoy it. Yes, it costs you a best friend – but you were always in her shadow and I don’t think you would’ve figured as much out about life as you do from letting her go.

One last thing – you’re going to have sex for the first time soon. It’s going to be painful and not great, but it is your choice and that is the most important thing! Don’t feel bad when your friends give you a hard time, they’re just as confused about it all as you are.

#DearMe at 18: I feel like I should warn you about getting back together with and ultimately marrying that guy I mentioned at 15. He doesn’t treat you as well as he should, and that’s going to get worse. You also lose yourself in the process of loving him, which means you’re not a very good partner either. I feel like I should tell you to go to Penn State and see what happens on that trajectory. But your marriage (and the brutal process of divorce) help you become a really stellar person. So go ahead and make those mistakes if you want – it’s how you get to me.

Big hugs and lots of love,
Your future self

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Sara, deconstructed.

So, in my first post I told you everything I’m not. Now we can dig into the good stuff! According to Buzzfeed, Mindy Kaling would play me in a movie about my life. I’m flattered and think she would have a blast digging into this role. I’m 31, and very happy to be in my thirties but also shaking in my boots because that make me old (by the standards of my ten year old know-it-all self).

I am a left-handed, Gemini, only child as I like to point out in all of my online dating profiles. And yes, that means I’m single. Or divorced. Depending on the boxes provided to check. That right there is enough to blog about for years – all the mishaps and laughter of marriage, divorce, and online dating that I’ve experienced. I also love to travel, as far and as often as I can – which unfortunately isn’t often enough since I work for a non-profit saving cats and dogs (not always successfully).

I use my spare time to digest all the Netflix, Hulu, Spotify, Pinterest, and EHarmony I can when I’m not out finding new restaurants or outdoor spaces to revel in this thing called life. I also occasionally show up on the internet, playing video games while drinking and providing commentary with my good friend and supporter of my blogging endeavors, Curley. Oh, and there’s this crazy idea I had to sign up for a half-marathon this coming January – so I spend a fair amount of time running (or sweating and wheezing depending on the weather). And then there’s my dog Finn, who is so stinking cute I’ve moved several times just to keep him in my life. He keeps me and my old lady cat Lola in check, should we ever start to think he’s perfect.

Welcome to my mess!

Why am I unpacking? Well, I like to move and grow. I like to start over from scratch just as much as I like to build on what I already have. My life is a constant stream of starting something new and unpacking the literal and emotional baggage I’ve brought with me. In the literal sense, I’ve moved 9 times in the last eleven years. In the emotional sense, I’ve lost and forged more relationships than I can count in those same eleven years. I’m 31 now, I am just beginning to get a sense of who I am. Writing has always been a safe place for me, and if I’m not writing I’m reading someone else’s words. Livejournal was my home eleven years ago, but we both grew up and apart and I’ve been looking for a new “home” ever since. The perfectionist that I am struggled for a long time with becoming a blogger – it’s something I’ve been drawn to since my early days on the internet, but I never fit a niche so it seemed like something I shouldn’t do. I’m not a mommy blogger, a chef, a gamer, a fashionista, an expert on any one thing in particular. Except for me. I’m an expert in my own experiences. And I’ve realized in the last few years that my experiences are just as important as anyone else’s. So, here I go. I’m going to put my life on the internet for people to relate to or challenge and see where it takes me. Hopefully you’ll come along for the ride.